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These Two Lives

by Nigel Grover

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1.
I wrote a song and set it free And one day it came back to me And though I knew it was my song My mind had changed, the words were wrong The bitterness and apathy Replaced by curiosity And changed into a major key Now we all sing along Was it all in my head? The monsters under my bed Can they tell me What was I so afraid of? And what’s the use of living Without being in love? I wrote a song, set it aside And then it traveled far and wide While I stayed planted like a tree Shackled to my old routine And when it finally came around My song turned my world upside down It opened up my eyes and now I’ll never be the same It’s okay to be afraid Even older dogs can change A broken person can be brave Basically we’re all the same It’s okay to feel unsure Kindness is the perfect cure We’ll find all we’re looking for My song taught me this and more
2.
Trouble, oh trouble got a way of finding me My fishing boat capsized by all them fishes in the sea But who’s that pretty mermaid swimming by the shore? If my eyes are open you know what I’m looking for Tell me, oh tell me why’s it all gotta be so hard? The grass is looking greener over there in my neighbor’s yard Oh no I’ll never find the one that I adore If my eyes are open you know what I’m looking for If I settle in I’ll miss what’s rolling round the bend At least I won’t become a lonely little man But this life is short on guarantees The promise of tomorrow is just a dream And that sets me free Sorry, so sorry but it’s already too late By the time we’d finished breakfast I was planning my escape Well you know me, I’m always watching the door And if my eyes are open you know what I’m looking for Worry, don’t worry this’ll all be over soon It’s a shame it didn’t work out, it was me it wasn’t you But something’s telling me you’ve heard this one before If my eyes are open you know what I’m looking for
3.
Stuck 03:52
Didn’t anyone tell you you can’t trust a man Who will say anything and take what he can I know those old habits are the hardest to break But I hope you can do it for your own sake Cause I’m dragging misery and heartache wherever I go She ain’t done nothing wrong She sure don’t deserve to be Stuck here with me You can handle it so far but just don’t forget The worst things I can do I haven’t done yet You’re too young to notice, too callow to see How the worries of this world are mangling me But honey I promise you sooner or later you’ll know Wearing her down is wearing me out But it won’t be long now I wish I could tell you it won’t be the same But we’re two lonely pieces trapped in this game We’ll both make the same moves that we made before And cling to the hope it could mean something more But this was decided long before the first die was thrown
4.
This is not the life you thought would come And everything you planned has come undone But nothing’s ever guaranteed And it’s the same for you and me The day has come and now we’re free To take a chance and meet in the middle Where your road will lead only time will tell Cause it can take a while to find yourself When your responsibilities Conspire to bring you to your knees You know you can depend on me We’ll share the load and meet in the middle There’s nothing else I can do I wasn’t looking for you But now I’ve found you and I’m gonna see it through This is not the life you thought would come And everything you planned has come undone Endless possibilities Are stretching out for you and me And I’ll be waiting patiently To take your hand and meet in the middle
5.
To a man we will die where we stand and the end is at hand When they came for our titles and our blades we made a final stand Cause the good old days are good as dead Carried off by smokestacks and train tracks And all that’s left is too retire Raise your swords, embrace the wire Two by two, bodies broken and bruised we stumble through the camp and out the gate These bridges built upon our backs will never last, no they’ll never take the weight We’ve got one last chance at being free Let’s saw through the bolts and stuff these termites in the beams And when they hold your feet up to the fire Go on boys, embrace the wire I won’t wait for the cruel hands of time This choice, too It will be mine Lightning flash, I tap my fingers on the dash to the sound of the radio and the rain In my rearview mirror are the needles and the fear, and a life that could never be the same It’s been so long since I felt alive I’ll go up to the quarry cause I always loved a drive And in a flash of steel and screaming tires I go off to embrace the wire
6.
I don’t believe that anyone ever cared about anyone less than I care about you So how did I find myself here alone in your room The bar is a blur and the sun will be coming up soon So I slip on my clothes and slip out the door before you come to Been more than a year since I last saw you And I don’t know what to expect as I walk through the door I see all their faces as I try to remember yours And I’m anticipating whatever this night has in store That’s when I hear you call my name from the back of the bar I can’t tell you just what I was thinking or how much I’d been drinking now All I can do is sit down And I order a beer cause it’s too late to disappear now I’ll stay for a few then I’ll make some excuse and leave town But suddenly it’s last call and we’re ordering another round Out of the bar and straight into a cab I’ll pay for this later, now you’re all that I have I’ll tell you it’s not just some sad booty call Let’s do this again sometime, maybe next fall?
7.
I’m just a man Why can’t you understand? These things you thought you knew Are buried in the silence around you And I couldn’t see Though the signs were all around me I waited for your call As January snow began to fall You can’t count the ways And I can’t count the days You know I have been so tired living these two lives You played your hand But castles made of sand All crumble eventually And we all find our way back to the sea You come telling tales Of alcohol and scales And I’ve got my own stories too But there’s no one left to hear them when we’re through You just can’t behave And I can’t ride the wave I know you have been so tired living these two lives And we’re not getting any younger Oh! These wasted hours! You have been to blame And I have been ashamed You know we have been so tired living these two lives
8.
I used to be a hopeless romantic Lately I’ve been feeling hopeless instead And I’m losing sleep, I’m tossing and turning Cause I’ve got this question stuck in my head Is this legit? Can I buy what you’re selling? I used to know, now there’s no way of telling At the end of the day When I’m lying here smelling your hair on my pillow After you’ve gone For every man there’s only so many Times he can fall and pick himself up There comes a day when even the strongest Reaches a point where enough is enough Now I can see with a new kind of clarity You make me believe whatever I need Is here in your arms I used to be a hopeless romantic Lately I’ve been feeling hopeful instead But how can it be that I still get mixed up by Meaningful glances and words left unsaid like Is this legit? Can I buy what you’re selling? I used to know, now there’s no way of telling Your eyes are aglow and your words are compelling But at the end of the day I’m still lying here smelling your hair on my pillow After you’ve gone
9.
The Calling 04:36

credits

released August 12, 2020

These Two Lives

Performed, recorded and mixed by Nigel Grover at HUMMING LIFE, Nagoya, Japan

Mastered by NORI at studio dubreel

All songs written by Nigel Grover except The Calling written by Dragonfly

James Ovenden played fiddle on (If My Eyes Are Open) You Know What I’m Looking For

Ashley Ford played cello on Embrace the Wire

Original portrait by Robert N. Moore at IMAGINE Design
Artwork direction and design by Nathan Dague

© 2020 Nigel Grover

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Nigel Grover Nagoya, Japan

I’m an American songwriter and music producer living in Japan.

I make music at HUMMING LIFE, Nagoya, Japan.

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